week 2 of the journey

hey, you are probably saying. Where's week 1? well, don't always start at the beginning. This is my attempt at a journal documenting my journey to figure this out. What this is? Answer: I don't know. What does it look like? It's like describing a picture without telling what's in the picture. Like charades. Off the diving board.
So I don't know if the whole therapy thing is working. Last Monday, he suggested that Omega-3, Vitamin C, Multivitamin, and gingko bibola should be taken to see if it will help. Skeptically I asked how do you know that if we don't even know what is the problem. For as long as I can remember(HA!), I cannot remember specifics of my past. I have photos, I have vague ideas of what some of them are. Most of it including recent things, I block them out. Unpleasant - block. Sad - block. Conflict - block. Yesterday and Today are pretty vivid still. but I am already trying to block some of yesterday out. I hate that she blew up and said the back yard, hate, hate, hate. All you do is some laundry, dishes, I do everything. Block. I hate that she feels depressed again. Trapped within our home. I am helpless. I try to listen but I don't want to hear it. I need to hear because I need to understand her and I love her. My life = loving her. I care so much but needs are not met. I feel this. Can I ever meet her needs, wants, desires? I hate thinking about these things because I cannot control my emotions just talking about them. So I am ending this entry because I need to get this under some control because I cannot let others see me this way right now. Asbergers - " I saw a dateline about a wife with a husband who was diagnosed with it." I don't want this. I will not let her live with me if I have this. . . .